片名：《足球尤物》
她射门，她得分！球进了！ She shoots, she scores! Goal!
- 什么？没错！给我 - 踢得好 - What? That's right! Give it! - Nice kick.
- 踢得妙 - 球给我！ - Very nice kick. - Give me the ball!
贾斯丁！ Justin!
- 放下…放我下来！ - 好。像这样… - Drop... Put me down! - OK. Down like...
哦，对不起 Oh, sorry.
- 真是的 - 嘿！ - Goodness. - Hey!
嗨 Hi.
- 真的，你越来越棒了 - 你也是 - OK, you are really getting good. - You too.
我是说，刚拍拖的时候 你都不知道怎么接吻 I mean, when we first started going out, you couldn't kiss at all.
- 我那在说踢球 - 真的? - I meant at soccer. - Really?
绝对真的。你… Absolutely. You're...
…比我们队里半成的队员还要棒 ...probably already better than half the guys on my team.
或许比一半还要多 Probably more than half.
你什么意思？ 我根本不会接吻？ What do you mean, I couldn't kiss at all?
别担心。我已经教会你了 Don't worry. I've taught you well.
我知道 I know.
好了，认真点，你不觉得 OK, but seriously, don't you think
你在校练习时间越来越长 以为自己在密西根州？ you'd get more playing time at a school like Michigan?
或许，我会成为黑有鞋根对的一员 （美国知名女足队） Maybe, but it's always been about being a Tar Heel for me.
那我穿卡罗来纳蓝队服 I'm gonna wear that Carolina blue.
- 是吗？ - 是啊，宝贝！ - Yeah. - Yeah, baby!
怎么，长曲棍球队在我们球场里做什么？ OK, what is the lacrosse team doing on our field?
- 学校解散了我们队 - 等等，什么？ - The school cut our team. - Wait, what?
- 队人人数不够 - 那就能说解散就解散？ - Not enough girls signed up. - So they just cut us?
他们不能这么做 They can't do that.
不行，绝不能这样结束 OK. This is not over.
嘿，姑娘们。我听说了那坏消息 Hi, girls. I heard the bad news.
“坏”？根本就是灾难！ "Bad"? It's a disaster.
现在大学星探都不会来看我们踢球了 Now college scouts won't even get to see us play.
我知道。如果我能帮忙的话，尽管说 I know. If there's anything I can do, just say the word.
事实上，的确有。 我们想和男队一起训练 Matter of fact, there is. We wanna try out for the boys team.
唯独这个不行 Anything besides that.
拜托，教练！ 你知道我们的实力 Coach, come on! You know that we're good enough.
我不知道 不知道你们有什么实力 I don't know that that's a thing that I know.
什么？ What?
就给我们一次机会吧 All we're asking for is one shot.
- 是啊 - 姑娘们， - Yeah. - Girls,
我们还有两周就要开学 we have two weeks before school starts.
之后就有场对伊利里亚队的比赛 一决胜负，我们一定要赢 Then we open against Illyria. A rivalry game. We have to win.
我们可以帮你们获胜 And we can help you win.
- 嗨，宝贝 - 嘿 - Hey, baby. - Hey.
怎么了，教练？ What's going on, coach?
这几位姑娘想考验我们队 The girls here want to try out for the team.
- 你说笑吧 - 好了，好了！ - You're not serious. - All right, all right!
你们都是出色的球员 You're all excellent players.
- 但女生没男生快 - 是啊 - But girls aren't as fast as boys. - Right.
- 什么？ - 也不够强壮，或者敏捷 - What? - Or as strong. Or as athletic.
这不是我在胡说，有科学依据的 This is not me talking. It's a scientific fact.
女生踢不过男生，这是事实 Girls can't beat boys. It's as simple as that.
那好，贾斯丁，你是队长 你怎么想？ OK. Justin, you're the team captain. What do you think about it?
教练说了算 I think the coach said it all.
昨天你说我比你们一半的人要好 Yesterday you told me that I was better than half the guys on your team.
什么？ What?
我从没说过 I never said that.
你胡说什么呢？ 你为什么要撒谎？ What are you talking about? Why are you lying?!
维奥拉！讨论结束 Viola! End of discussion.
对，告诉她，伙计 Yeah, tell her, man.
那好，我们也结束了 Fine. End of relationship.
- 好了，我们走 - 宝贝，别这样。我…… - Come on, let's go. - Baby, don't be like that. I...
我只是不想见你受伤害 I just don't want to see you get hurt.
你真会扯… You are so full of...
回去训练 Back to practice.
赛巴斯蒂安 Sebastian.
赛巴斯蒂安？！ Sebastian?!
塞巴斯蒂安！真是的！ Sebastian! Jeez!
是你啊 It's you.
要命，你和你哥背后看上去一模一样 God, you and your brother look scary alike from the back.
看来你身材一点曲线都没有 I think it's your total lack of curves.
你好，摩妮琪 真高兴见到你 Hi, Monique. It's so good to see you too.
我找塞巴斯蒂安。他在哪儿？ I'm looking for Sebastian. Where is he?
我不知道 I don't know.
记得告诉你哥他能有我是多幸运 Just remind your brother how lucky he is to be in my life.
让他打电话给我， 不然就分手，知道不？ And tell him to give me a call if he wants to stay in it. OK?
好，那你的号码是？ 1-800-婊子？ OK. Does he have your number? 1-800-BEYOTCH?
她会耍更多花样的 She will do great things.
我要给你个惊喜！ I have a surprise for you!
所以我才不带朋友过来 And this is why I don't bring friends over.
妈，现在不行 我今天很不顺，所以… Mom, not now. I had a really bad day, so...
那这正是让你打起精神的时机 This is just the thing to just perk you up.
- 等等 - 好 - Hold on. - OK.
把眼睛闭上 Keep your eyes closed.
- 闭上眼，闭紧了，闭紧了 - 闭紧了 - Eyes closed, closed, closed, closed. - They're closed.
好了，惊喜来了！ All right. Surprise!
我宝贝初次亮相的华美礼服 Beautiful gowns for my darling debutante.
妈妈，我都说了上千遍了！ Mom, have I not told you a thousand times?
我对社交亮相没兴趣 太老土了 I have no interest in being a debutante. It's totally archaic.
我怎么会生出你这个女儿 How could I wind up with a daughter
成天就在野地里踢泥巴球 who only wants to kick a muddy ball around a field all day?
但世界回归正轨了，妈妈 他们解散了我们队 Well, the world has been set right, Mom. They cut my team.
- 什么？不踢球了？ - 是啊，没错。不踢了 - What? No soccer? - Yeah, that's right. No soccer.
- 真可惜 - 是啊，我知道你悲痛欲绝 - How sad. - Yeah, I can see you're all torn up.
但，贾斯丁会喜欢你穿这个的 Well, Justirs gonna love you in this.
这理由也不成立了 我把他甩了 Yet another reason not to wear it. I dumped him.
- 什么？为什么？ - 我不想说 - What? Why? - I don't wanna talk about it.
他那么帅，又强壮 He's so handsome and rugged
轮廓明显又会踢球 and chiseled and great.
那你怎么不约他，老妈？ Then why don't you date him, Mom?
不，我不行 No, I couldn't.
- 嘿，塞巴斯蒂安 - 嘿 - Hey, Sebastian. - Hey.
你还好吗？ You OK?
摩妮琪刚找你 Monique was looking for you.
你为什么会找上她做女友 Why do you even date her, anyway?
她够辣！你不懂男人 She's hot. It's a guy thing.
但她真讨人厌 But she's so awful.
喂，你知道你可以用前门 Hey, you know, you could use the front door.
不能让老妈看到我 And Mom can't see me.
她以为我住老爸那里 老爸以为我住这里 She thinks I'm staying at Dad's. Dad thinks I'm at Mom's.
再过几天，他们都以为我去学校了 In two days they both think I'm going away to school.
- 这就是离婚的好处 - 你要去哪儿？ - That is the beauty of divorce. - Where are you going?
去伦敦几个礼拜 London for a couple of weeks.
你指英格兰的伦敦？ As in London, England?
是啊，我们乐队在音乐节里争取到一个位子 Yeah, my band got a slot in a music festival there.
那学校怎么办？ OK, what are you gonna do about school?
没错，我也在想让你帮帮我 Yeah, I was kind of hoping you could help me with that.
你能不能假扮成老妈 给伊利里亚打电话说我病了 Could you just, like, pretend to be Mom, call Illyria, tell them I'm sick?
编个能让我躺2个礼拜的病 比如像疯牛病 Something that sounds like it would last for two weeks, like mad cow.
塞巴斯蒂安 你才因为旷课被康沃尔踢出来 Sebastian, you just got kicked out of Cornwall for skipping.
你不要一开学又旷！ This is not exactly the way you want to start out.
我要成为音乐家 I want to be a musician.
上一次我听到的是 他们不想知道什么三角琴 Last time I heard, they don't need to know trigonometry.
再说，如果你要追求梦想 Besides, if you want to chase your dreams,
有时候就得打破成规，知道吗？ sometimes you gotta break the rules, right?
你知道乐队成名的机会有多少？ You know the percentage of bands that make it to the big time?
大概和女足球队员的机率差不多 Probably the same as female soccer players.
我们两周后见 I will see you in two weeks.
塞巴斯蒂安 Sebastian.
- 瑟巴斯蒂安！ - 你刚在和你哥哥说话？ - Sebastian! - Were you talking with your brother?
不。是的 No. Yes.
电话里。他在老爸那儿。再见，老爸 On the phone. He's at Dad's. Bye, Dad.
想象一下： Picture this:
我们在乡间俱乐部 We're at the country club,
他们报道你的名字， 你穿这身出场 they call your name, and you emerge in this.
不要，对不起，老妈。 我坚决不穿褶皱衣服 No. Sorry, Mom. I have a strict no-ruffles policy.
有时候你和你哥真是一副德性 Sometimes I just think you just might as well be your brother.
知道吗？ You know what?
不让加入，那就打败他们 If you can't join them, beat them.
你要我把你变成你哥哥？ You want me to turn you into your brother?
没错。 我假扮塞巴斯蒂安去伊利里亚 That's right. I'm going to Illyria as Sebastian.
我会组建自己的足球队 并在12天内打败康沃尔男队 I'll make the boys soccer team, and in 12 days beat the Cornwall boys team.
行了，你顶球顶怀脑袋了 You've taken too many soccer balls to the head.
你知道我能行的，鲍尔 You know I can do it, Paul.
但声音，习惯，胸部，思想等… Except for the voice, mannerisms, the breasts, the mentality and...
无所谓，反正伊利里亚里 没人认识塞巴斯蒂安 It doesn't matter. Nobody at Illyria has even met Sebastian.
- 他们察觉不到的 - 他们知道你是个女的 - They won't know the difference. - They'll know he's a girl.
- 哦，拜托，鲍尔 - 是啊，帮帮她，鲍尔 - Oh, come on, Paul. - Yeah, come on, Paul.
是啊，帮帮她，鲍尔 Yeah, come on, Paul.
好好。我看看再说 OK. OK. I'll see what I can do.
太好了！ Yes!
你要去哪儿？ Where are you going?
妈，我说了，我要去老爸那儿呆2周 Mom, I told you! I'm going to Dad's house for two weeks.
不，你没说过。你也不许去 No, you didn't. And you're not going.
这夏天我跟你都没怎么好好相处 We've hardly spent any time together this summer.
立即上楼，把东西放回去 Now go upstairs and unpack.
好了，老妈，我考虑过你的提议 OK, Mom, I thought about what you said.
你知道摩妮琪会在那儿 和塞巴斯蒂安20/7？？ And you know Monique is gonna be there 24/7 with Sebastian,
所以，我不知道 我在想 so, I don't know, I was just thinking
她或许可以在初次亮相时 给我看那些礼服 that maybe she'd show me the ropes on the whole debutante thing.
- 这真是令人激动 - 不是吗？！ - This is so exciting! - Isn't it?!
你会玩得很开心的 You're gonna have so much fun.
到时会有个正式舞会 和一个午宴 There's the formal ball. And the luncheon.
还有，哦， 我提过下周的慈善集会？ And, oh, did I mention the fundraiser next week?
是个嘉年华会！ It's gonna be a carnival!
万岁！ Look out!
你哥哥保证过会去 见到他提醒他一下 Your brother promised to be there, so remind him when you see him.
哦，我的丑小鸭 终于要变成白天鹅了 Oh, my little girl. You're finally gonna be a lady!
你确定我能做到？！ Are you sure I can do this?!
哦，没问题，能行的 Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
有事吗？ What's up?
哦，天哪，他看穿我了！ Oh, my God, he knew!
- 我要回家！ - 放松。他只是打招呼！ - I wanna go home! - Relax. He was being friendly!
我们不能回去！住嘴！ 我费了这么大工夫… We're not going home! Stop it! I did not spend all this time...
- 都是你的错！带我回家！ - 我的错？！是你求我的！ - It's your fault! Drive home! - My idea?! You asked me!
- 我帮你做头发，化妆！ - 倒车！倒车！ - I did your hair and makeup! - Reverse!
- 我要回家！ - 你这是在撒娇！ - I want to go! - You're being a girl!
- 我们不回家，不回家 - 拜托！开车！ - We're not going. - Come on! Drive!
- 他只是打招呼而已 - 好吧！ - He was being friendly. - All right!
我们再练习一次 Let's run through it one more time.
嗓音测试 Let me hear the voice.
嘿，怎样？ 我是塞巴斯蒂安 Hey. What's up? I'm Sebastian.
来走一下 OK. Now show me the strut.
好了，吐口水 Now, hawk a loogie.
我为你自豪！ I'm so proud!
- 放开我！ - 要记住， - Get off me! - Remember,
每个女孩心中都有一颗“雄”心 inside every girl there's a boy.
好像不对 反正你懂我意思 That came out wrong. But you know what I mean.
维 Vi.
做个好男人 Be a good boy.
回头见 See you guys.
我能成功 我是个男人 I can do this. I am a dude!
一个七尺男儿！ 一个铁汉子！ I am a hunky dude! I'm a badass hunky dude!
嗨！喂！有事没？ Hey! Hey! What up?
你一定是我室友 You must be my roommates.
你叫什么名字？ What's your name?
- 塞巴斯蒂安·海斯丁斯 - 杜克·奥斯诺 - Sebastian Hastings. - Duke Orsino.
好了 OK.
好了，好了，好了 OK, OK, OK.
这十安德鲁和托比 他们住隔壁 This is Andrew and Toby. They live next door.
但一年级的宿舍在另一边 小神童 Yeah. Freshman dorm's that-a-way, twiglet.
认真说，你多大了？ Seriously, how old are you?
我跳了几级 I skipped a couple grades.
我是天才 I'm brilliant.
话说回来 知道足球队试队是什么时候？ Anyway, do you know when soccer tryouts start?
中午。你踢球？ Noon. You play?
当然。中锋 你知道的，兄弟 Absolutely. Center forward. You know it, bro.
你也很会玩…兄弟？ So you play the beautiful game... bro?
伙伴？同志？ Brothers? Brethren?
对，我是前锋 安德鲁和托比是中卫 Yeah, I'm a striker. Andrew and Toby are halfbacks.
行啊 Schveet.
慢着，为什么你靴子里有卫生棉条？ OK, why do you have tampons in your boot?
我经常流鼻血 I get really bad nose bleeds.
那你把那个塞鼻子里？ So, you stick them up your nose?
是啊 Yeah.
干嘛？你们没试过？ What? You've never done that?
哦，天…贝克汉姆经常这么做 Oh, my... Beckham does it all the time.
- 真的？ - 是的 - Seriously? - Yes.
看，我来示范一下 Look. I'll just show you how to do it.
打开这… Take that off and...
...不管是什么 ...whatever that is.
然后直接插进去 And you stick it right in.
帮你吸得一干二净 It absorbs right up.
- 你逗我吧？ - 恶心死了 - Are you kidding me? - That's disgusting.
哦，上帝，你室友是个怪胎 Oh, my God, your roommate's a freak.
太恶心了 That's so disgusting.
那就和往常一样开始训练 Let's start the season how we finished the last.
机灵点！ Sharp!
你算什么，家里的矮冬瓜？ What are you, the runt of the family?
好了，脱衣训练 OK, shirts and skins.
对不起，教练 我得穿着上衣 Pardon me, sir. I have to be a shirt.
- 什么？ - 我对阳光敏感 - What? - I'm allergic to the sun.
你对阳光敏感？ You're allergic to the sun?
非常非常非常敏感 致命的敏感 Very, very, very deathly, deathly allergic.
我们很乐意和伊利里亚通融一下 We like to accommodate here at Illyria.
我天天为你打把阳伞 好吗，大少爷？ So I'll follow you around with a parasol. All right, Nancy boy?
那就穿着吧 You're a shirt.
好了，队员们，开始了 OK, guys, let's go.
一，二，三！ One, two, three!
一，二，三！ 一，二，三！ One, two, three! One, two, three!
稍息，先生们 At ease, gentlemen.
我今天已看到不少激情和承诺 I've seen a lot of energy and commitment out there today.
值得让一名教练自豪 And that makes a coach proud.
现在，我要把你们分成 先锋队和候补队 Now, I want to split us up into first string and second string.
你们候补队员 别太丧气 You second-stringers, don't take it too hard.
你们和先锋队一样重要 You're just as much part of this team as the first-stringers.
当然只是在场外 Apart from, of course, playing the game part.
舒乐 Schuler.
海姆斯 Haims.
珀坦斯基 Potensky.
多纳 Donner.
海斯丁斯 Hastings.
你们是候补 Second string.
其余的，恭喜你们加入先锋队 The rest of you, congratulations. First-stringers.
好了，去洗澡 Now, hit the showers.
洗澡喽 Shower time.
洗澡？ Shower time?
- 海斯丁斯，不许洗澡！ - 好 - Hastings! No shower for you. - OK.
国登校长要你去他办公室 Principal Gold wants to see you in his office.
惨了，我完了。他们发现了 I'm over. It's done. They know.
塞巴斯蒂安的资料 Sebastiars file.
塞巴斯蒂安… Sebastian...
这么大的文件夹？ Could it be any bigger?
海斯丁斯先生 Mr. Hastings.
郝瑞休 金… Horatio Gold...
…校长 ...headmaster.
非常高兴见到你 非常非常荣幸 So very pleased to meet you. So very, very pleased.
你好，校长 听说你要见我 Hello, sir. Heard you wanted to see me.
我是想表示欢迎 I'd like to say welcome.
[歌词：欢迎来到伊利里亚 欢迎，欢迎……欢迎来伊利里亚]
我叫你进来是想说声欢迎 I just wanted to have you in to say welcome.
看你过得怎么样 See how you're doing.
好，我过得很好，知道吗？ 就忙着做个男子汉 Yeah, I'm doing great, you know? Just... busy being a guy.
男子汉，是啊 Being a guy. Yeah.
来看看你的文档 塞巴斯蒂安… Let's take a look at your file, Sebastian. And...
好象…卡住了 Seems to be... stuck a bit.
打开了。开了 There we go. All right.
好了… OK. Well...
好了，你完蛋了 OK, you're busted.
你不想坐这里和校长谈话 但我不会同意的 You don't wanna talk to the headmaster. But I won't take no for an answer.
那坐在校长的椅子上 来，坐啊 Now, have a sit in the headmaster's chair. Come on, have a sit.
坐下 Sit it.
那么，塞巴斯蒂安·海斯丁斯 So, Sebastian Hastings.
- 觉得校园怎样？ - 很漂亮 - How do you like campus? - Beautiful.
喜不喜欢这炭黑和苹果红 You've been inspired by the charcoal black and candy apple red?
- 你知道啦 - 喂！ - You know it. - Hey!
别碰！永远别在碰了！ Don't touch it. Ever. Ever. Do not do that.
知道吗，塞巴斯蒂安， 我以前也是个转校生… You know, Sebastian, I was a transfer student myself...
…很久以前 当恐龙还徘徊在这个星球上时 ...once upon a time. Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
所以我才会特别 So I keep a special interest
注意转入我校的转校生 in the transfer students that come to this school.
就好比…我是个大哥哥 Act as a... unofficial big brother.
当我临时冒出问候你的时候别太见怪 Don't be surprised if I just pop in unannounced just to check up.
好，我很期待 Yeah, I look forward to it.
快滚！ Now scoot!
对不起 Sorry.
- 没关系 - 是我不对 - Don't worry about it. - My fault.
到底是…？ What is...?
开始接触异性了是不是？ Getting to know the opposite sex, are we?
两性的对立 让人紧张的男女关系 Male-female dynamics. All that sexual tension.
高中的重要环节 继续吧，继续 It's all part of the high school experience. So continue. Please.
但记得要注意卫生. But keep it clean, though. OK.
矜持是重点。矜持是… 拒绝的最好方式是说不 Abstinence is key. Abstinence is... The best way to not is to not.
是的 Yes.
他一直这么友善？ Is he always that friendly?
开玩笑！他那已经算凶的了 Are you kidding? That's him being rude.
哦，鞋子真不错 All right. Cute shoes.
你觉得？ 我在安索普洛基买的 You think so? I got them at Anthropologie.
- 没门！他们也卖鞋？ - 哦，是啊。就在饰品部旁边 - No way! They have shoes there? - Oh, yeah. Right by the accessories.
书给你 Here are your books.
- 谢谢 - 那，我想我该， - Thanks. - Well, I guess I'm gonna,
你知道， 做些男人做得事 you know, go take care of some guy stuff.
好 OK.
给你 好好享受苹果和三明治 There you go. Have a great apple and sandwich.
嗨，我想要… Hi! I would love a...
- 不行 - 但… - No. - But...
嘿，同志们 我能坐吗？ Hey, dudes. Mind if I join?
谢谢 Thanks.
那足球试练太大兴了，是不是？ So those soccer tryouts were bogus, huh?
我是说，替补队员？ 拜托，太荒谬了，对不对？对不对？ I mean, second string? Come on, that's ridiculous. Am I right? Am I right?
那对康沃尔的比赛让人期待 So the game against Cornwall, that should be interesting.
为什么让人期待？ And why would that be interesting?
因为我妹妹在那儿 她之前和贾斯丁·德瑞顿 Well, my sister goes there, and she used to date that tool Justin Drayton.
我认识他 I know him.
- 我把他弄哭过一次 - 等等 - I made him cry once during a game. - Wait.
- 那次是你？ - 当然 - That was you? - Absolutely.
那回太逗了 - That was so funny. - Wow.
你妹妹辣不？ Is your sister hot?
我猜吧 I guess so.
她人品很不错 She's got a great personality.
来了 Incoming.
哦，看啊！看看那金发的亮点啊 Oh, yeah! Check out the booty on that blondie.
不许这样说她 Don't talk about her that way.
她是你的女友？ Is that your girlfriend?
他做梦都想 He wishes.
她本来和大学生约会 但他甩了她 She was dating this college guy, but he dumped her.
听说她现正乱着 非常脆弱 I hear she's a total mess now, really vulnerable.
自信，自尊都失去了 Confidence, self-esteem is way down.
- 作为男人，现该出手了 - 没错 - In man words, it's time to pounce. - Exactly.
我讨厌那家伙 I hate that guy.
你知道这腊肠的38%是蹄膀肉？ Did you know bologna is 38 percent hoof?
谢谢，麦尔肯姆 Thanks, Malcolm.
看上去你有个情敌啊 Looks like you got some competition.
- 他是麦尔肯姆 - 油腔滑调的 - It's just Malcolm. - Total geek.
她看上去好伤心 让人心碎 She looks so sad. It's heartbreaking.
只…只是… 我会联想，知道吗？ It... it's just... I can relate, you know?
我是说，我也刚结束一段感情 I mean, I just got out of a bad relationship too.
我指，你以为你了解那个人 I mean, you think you know someone.
但最后却发现一切都是谎言 And you realize it's all been a big lie.
每次抚摸 Every touch.
每次亲吻 Every kiss.
还有，你们清楚 女人永远不会闭嘴 Plus, you know, you can never get chicks to shut up.
好吧，同志们 等一会儿见 All right, guys, catch up with you later.
浴室空空 Empty shower.
万岁！ Yes!
我能洗澡了 我能洗澡了 I get to take a shower. I get to take a shower.
麦尔肯姆·菲斯特斯，宿舍长 Malcolm Festes, dorm director.
在浴室里一定要穿浴鞋 Shower shoes are to be worn in the bathroom at all times
除非是沐浴的时候 except when in the actual shower.
难道你没看宿舍生活手册吗？ Did you not read your Dorm Life pamphlet?
在你的厨子里 It was in your cubby.
如何，帅哥？ Wassup, dawg?
好，不错，挺好 Yeah. OK, homey.
回见 Later.
喂，你忘了…这个绕脚布 Hey. You forgot... this, Coolio.
是啊，要你管 Word, G-Money.
好了，海斯丁斯，该你上了！ OK, Hastings, you're up!
海斯丁斯，你聋了吗？！ Hastings, are you deaf?!
赶快，上场！ Come on, let's go!
快滚上场！上啊！ Get your butt out there! Come on!
上去！ Get out!
老天！ Jesus!
来啊，宝贝。来啊 Come on, baby. Come on.
起床了 Rise and shine.
等等！放手！ Wait! Let go!
放手！ Let go!
欢迎来到地狱 Welcome to hell!
先生们！ 让我来介绍这些新的足球队员 Gentlemen! Let me present this year's soccer newbies!
首先，你们要脱衣服！ First, you must remove your clothes!
脱衣服！ 脱衣服！ Remove their clothes! Remove their clothes!
现在就脱掉！ Take your clothes off now!
脱掉他们的衣服！ Remove their clothes!
喂？我悲哀的人生 Hello. My life sucks.
- 我完了！ - 什么？ - I'm done! - What?
大家都以为我是衰哥怪物 Everybody thinks I'm a loser deviant.
这样我连去看康沃尔比赛的机会都没了 I'll never see the field against Cornwall.
我浑身发愁 别人都笑话我 And I smell so bad I'm convulsing people.
来接我回家 确保我不再做这种傻事了 Pick me up, take me home and make sure I never do anything /ike this again.
听着，维， 我不知道怎么混球队 Look, Vi, I don't know what to tell you about the whole soccer team...
但我知道怎么混人缘 我有个主意 ...but as for the social stuff, I got an idea.
-真的？ - 真的 - You do? - Yeah.
我们来让大家看看你的男人本色 We're gonna show everybody the man that you really are.
我们该怎么做？ How are we gonna do that?
上，维奥拉 Go, Viola.
来击掌。不错 High five. Nice.
哥们儿，看谁来了 Man. Look who's here.
小妞好啊 Foxy mama.
别看着他 他或许不会看到我们 Don't look at him. Maybe he won't see us.
坐开点，假装没空位了 Spread out so it looks like we got no room.
- 还好吗？ - 你好吗？ - What's up? - What's up?
上，琦雅 Go, Kia.
- 嘿，塞巴斯蒂安 - 琦雅 - Hey, Sebastian. - Kia.
嘿，美女。你还好吗，宝贝？ Hey, girl. How you doing, baby?
- 没了你就不好 - 我知道，我很抱歉 - Not the same without you. - I know. I'm sorry.
新学校，新环境 New school, new babe pool.
我好想你，塞巴斯蒂安 I miss you, Sebastian.
我一直在思念你 I've been thinking about you a lot.
- 孤枕难眠啊 - 是啊 - Especially at night. - Sweet.
- 彻夜地 - 真不错 - And late. - Even better.
她刚才是对塞巴斯蒂安说的？ Did she just say that to Sebastian?
- 到底怎么一会儿事？ - 哦，塞巴斯蒂安 - What just happened? - Oh, Sebastian.
好，来个大大的悲叹 苦乐掺拌的再会 OK, big, mournful sigh. Bittersweet farewell.
你是他的玩物，宝贝 You're his plaything, baby.
能见到你真是太好了，塞巴斯蒂安 It was really great to see you, Sebastian.
随时找我 Call me anytime.
我想摸一下 I'd tap that.
谢谢你，琦雅。太漂亮了！ 依帆上 Thank you, Kia. You're gorgeous. And go, Yvonne.
女人 Women.
- 是啊 - 是啊，说得没错 - Yeah. - Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
塞巴斯蒂安？真是你？ Sebastian? Is that you?
嗨，你好吗，依帆？ Hey, what's going on, Yvonne?
- 这又是谁？ - 不好 - Who's this one? - Nothing.
我说我们学校失去了领头羊 塞巴斯蒂安·海斯丁斯 I mean, our school lost its top gun, Sebastian Hastings.
但作为男人就该继续前进，依帆 Well, time comes for a man to move along, Yvonne.
我知道，塞巴斯蒂安 I know, Sebastian.
毕竟我还是配不上你 In the end I wasrt woman enough for you.
是，的确是 No, you werert.
这遗憾将陪伴我终身 That's something I'll always have to live with.
- 让人心碎，真的 - 爱情是痛苦的 - It just hurts, that's all. - Love is pain.
只想告诉你我不会忘记你的 塞巴斯蒂安 Just know I'll never forget you, Sebastian.
永远！不会！ Ever! Never!
可怜虫 Needy.
好了，我们或许要重新考虑一下 OK. We might need to do a little reevaluating here.
- 是啊 - 你好啊，美女 - Yeah. - Hey there, pretty lady.
什么…？什么意思，想泡我？ What...? What are you, hitting on me?
- 我只是… - “我只是…” - I was just... - "I was just..."
好了，我来通一下你那塞住的脑子 OK, let me put a stop to that little brain fart right now.
像我这样翘屁股的女生不会跟 你这种衰得要死的男生说话 Girls with asses like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours.
我在找我男朋友塞巴斯蒂安·海斯丁斯 你们看到他没？ I'm looking for my boyfriend Sebastian Hastings. Have you guys seen him?
塞巴斯蒂安？ Sebastian?
糟了！别让她接近你，会被识破的！ Don't let her get too close, she'll recognize you.
我该怎么办？ What am I gonna do?
- 别靠近我！ - 你说什么？！ - Keep away from me! - I beg your pardon?!
大美女好 好了，别再过来了，摩妮琪 Pretty ladies. OK, don't come any closer, Monique.
- 塞巴斯蒂安！ - 我们结束了！ - Sebastian! - It's over!
你说什么？！ What are you talking about?!
- 我不想跟你说话！疯了吗？ - 塞巴斯蒂安，快过来 - I don't want to talk to you! - Sebastian, come back here.
你很性感，摩妮琪，很火辣 You're hot, Monique. Smoking hot.
过来！你！你！你！ Come here. Get! Get! Get!
- 但辣妹外面多得是 - 快过来 - But there are plenty of hot girls. - Come back here.
事实是，你徒有其表，却脑袋空空 And the truth is, you have absolutely nothing else to offer.
我闭上眼睛时，感觉到你真实面孔 And when my eyes are closed, I see you for what you truly are,
太丑陋了！我们结束了！ which is ugly! We're done!
太精彩了！ That was amazing!
你真牛！ You the man!
你们干什么？让位子给这位朋友 What's wrong with you guys? Make some room for the man.
坐！ Sit down!
你现在是我偶像了，兄弟 You're officially my idol now, man.
就是他 There he is.
- 怎样？ - 怎样，兄弟？ - What's up? - What's up, brothers?
- 嘿，塞巴斯蒂安 - 靓妹 - Hey, Sebastian. - Lovelies.
- 向你兄弟问好 - 哟！哟！塞巴斯蒂安！ - Holler at your boy. - Yo! Yo! Sebastian!
让让路好吗？ Can you get out of my way right now?
我需要你的建议，女人的问题 I need your advice. I got lady troubles.
我会帮你的，哥们儿 我智慧无穷 I'm here for you, bro. I got a lifetime of knowledge.
你和那女的约了多久？ How long did you date?
太久了。社交娱乐时勾搭的 Too long. Ball and frickir chain, man.
[铃声：我是芭比女孩，住在芭比城]
天哪 Dude.
贾斯丁（也是女生名） 女生就缠着我不放 Justine. Chick won't stop dogging me, man.
哦我的天，天哪 她在我们班上课 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She's in our class.
老兄，别脸红。太丢人了 Dude, quit blushing. That's lame.
闭嘴，我没脸红 Shut up. I'm not blushing.
大家都抽一张纸条 Everyone, please take a slip
并念出实验伙伴的名字 and read off the name of your lab partner.
“尤妮丝·贝兹” "Eunice Bates."
杀了我吧 You got to be kidding me.
- 别这样 - 就是 - Be nice. - Yeah.
她还是有吸引人的地方 She got something-something.
是啊，哮喘和钢套 Yeah, asthma and headgear.
“奥莉维亚·雷诺克斯” "Olivia Lennox."
- 你认识她？ - 只说过一两句话 - You know her? - I talked to her for a second.
说什么？她都对你点头了 About what? She gave you the nod.
- 点的很用力 - 非常用力 - She did a good one. - She gives good nod.
你们冷静下来好吗？ Could everybody calm down?
怎么会是你做她的实验…跟我换！ I can't believe you got her as a lab par... Switch with me.
不行！我刚大声叫了她名字！ I can't. I said her name out loud.
有些人就是运气好，知道吗？ Some guys just walk in the light, you know?
- 又见面了 - 你好 - Hello, again. - Hello.
我们之前好像没介绍过 我是塞巴斯蒂安 I don't think we introduced ourselves before. I'm Sebastian.
奥莉维亚 Olivia.
我会成为你永远最棒的实验伙伴 I'm gonna be the best lab partner you ever had.
酷 Cool.
我不得不坦白 I gotta be completely honest.
解剖之类的东西让我起鸡皮疙瘩 The whole dissecting thing kind of freaks me out.
所以还是由你来负责吧 So, think you may have to take the reins on this one.
哇，大多数男生都不会承认的 Wow. Most guys would never admit that.
哦，该死，说得没错 Oh, crap, you're right.
不，别担心 能坦诚很好 No, don't worry. I think it's refreshing.
- 真的？ - 本生灯旁不能放纸张 - You do? - No paper near the Bunsen burner.
- 等等 - 是什么？诗歌？ - Wait. - What's this? Poems?
歌词，那是他的… Lyrics. They're his...
我的…我以前写的 My... my old stuff.
“醒来，我会一直等你” "Wake up, I've been waiting for you."
写得很感人，很坦诚 Those are really good. So honest.
我知道，我一直跟他…我，我自己说 I know. I keep telling him... me... meself... my... myself...
我也写歌，奥莉维亚 I write songs too, Olivia.
- 是吗？真好 - 听听看 - Really? Wonderful. - Check it out.
[歌词：我透过窗看着你，在外面大树上]
你，你坐下 You, you sit.
你，走开，滚！ You, go. Go!
- 你有没有跟她提到我？ - 没，我为啥要提？ - Did you say anything about me? - No. Was I supposed to?
拜托，这太好了 Come on. This is perfect.
你每隔一天就跟她呆一个小时 You get to spend an hour with her every other day.
你可以说服她跟我约会 You can convince her to go out with me.
她还有3年半选择跟你约会 She had that option for three and a half years.
我跟你说，你帮我，我就教你踢足球 I'll tell you what. You do this, I'll work with you on your soccer.
帮你锻炼到先锋队 I'll make you good enough to make first string.
- 上场打康沃尔队？ - 没错 - By the Cornwall game? - Absolutely.
好，是的，成交 OK, yeah. You got a deal.
- 真够兄弟 - 那当然 - You're the man. - Yes, I am.
对了 Right.
哦，上帝啊！痛死了！ Oh, for the love of God! It burns!
太不公平了，马尔维利欧 It just isn't fair, Malvolio.
我等了奥莉维亚三年 现在杀出个陈咬金 I wait three years for Olivia, and then some transfer student comes in
突然她就… and suddenly she's acting like some...
...走火入魔的热恋女子 ...obsessed, love-struck teenager.
我决不能坐以待毙，马尔维利欧！ I'm not gonna take that lying down, Malvolio!
是，我知道，我知道 Yeah, I know. I know.
你说得没错 You're absolutely right.
我会继续观察 会找到他的弱点 I'll do some digging, I'll find out what it is,
然后在奥莉维亚面前狠狠地给他一刀 and I'll nip his chances with Olivia right in the bud.
什么？哦，对，是的 出去走走，来吧 What's that? Oh, yeah, sure. A walk. Sorry. Come on.
你真聪明 You are so smart.
喂？ Hello.
- 想我吗？ - 怎么样？ - Miss me? - What's going on?
你的嗓子怎么了？ What's wrong with your voice?
我只是有点感冒 I just have a little bit of a cold.
所以，有点痰 So... I'm still a little phlegmy.
- 学校的事呢？ - 对 - Call my school? - Yeah.
已经办妥了。你确保在12号前回来就行 It's all taken care of. Just make sure you're back by the 12th.
太酷了，维 It was so coo/, Vi.
之前几天的表演，把整个会场都掀翻了 We went on a coup/e days ear/y, and the crowd f/ipped for us.
他们要求再来一首 我们即兴演了我写的歌 They wanted an encore, so we did one of my songs acoustica//y.
- 他们爱死那歌词了 - 哦，那真好 - They went nuts for my lyrics. - Oh, that's so cool.
还有摩妮琪，你说得对 And you were right about Monique.
她已成过去式了 She's history.
- 已经分了，是吗？ - 我得走了，以后聊 - She really is, isn't she? - I got to go. I'// ta/k to you /ater.
好，拜 OK. Bye.
假发不舒服吗，海斯丁斯？ Trouble with your wig, Hastings?
不，其实我有头皮病 No, I actually... I have a scalp condition.
- 不，你没有 - 真的有 - No, you don't. - Yeah, I do.
我真的有 现在又发作了… I really do. It's really acting up during the...
不，你没有 No, you don't.
你这是男性脱发症 You've got male pattern baldness.
挪过去，孩子 Scoot over, kiddo.
不知道你有没有发现 I don't know if you've realized,
实际上，我的头发也开始少了 but recently I've started to thin out myself.
我试了很多如霜和膏药 I've tried all the creams and the butters,
但还是无法平息大地母亲的愤怒之火 and I still can't seem to stop Mother Nature's vindictive fury,
所以你也不行 and neither can you.
总有一天你要卸去伪装 There's gonna be a time when you'll have to come out
走出衣橱并秀出真正的自己 of the closet and just accept yourself for who you are.
小秃头，好吗？ A baldy. OK?
别担心，知道吗？ But it's gonna be all right. OK?
哦，我们俩的秘密 女生喜欢秃头 Oh, and between you and me, chicks dig it.
来击掌，对嘛 Hang ten. Yeah.
嗨，奥莉维亚 别放心上，但马尔奥利欧不见了 Hi, Olivia. I don't want you to be worried, but Malvolio's missing.
哦，不 - Oh, no! - Yeah.
如果你找到他，别喂东西 他肠胃过敏 If you see him, don't feed him. He has an irritable bowel.
是啊，喂他还真是我的第一反应 Yeah. 'Cause that would be my very first instinct.
喂那狼珠 To feed the tarantula.
我有个点子 Here's a wild idea.
你有没有想过和杜克·奥斯诺拍拖？ Have you ever thought about going out with Duke Orsino?
我看有戏 I see that.
- 杜克？ - 是啊 - Duke? - Yeah.
- 不行 - 行 - No. - Yeah.
- 行 - 不行！ - Yeah? - No!
我觉得，他长得不错还有… I mean, he's good-looking and everything,
但他不适合我 but he's just not the guy for me.
我不知道 I don't know.
但或许他比你想象的要好 Think there may be more to him than you think there is.
你是说他不是什么臭男生… So you're telling me he's not just another dumb jock
只想泡我，然后就能在朋友面前炫耀… who wants to hook up with me so he could tell his friends, but too...?
- 但又怕你把他管得死死的 - 没错 - Insecure to treat you as an equal? - Exactly.
说得没错 Tell me about it.
你是这学校里唯一对我没那意思的人 You're the first guy at school who hasn't tried anything with me.
相信我，你不适合我 Trust me, you're not my type.
那，为什么？ Well, why not?
你知道，这只是… You know, it's just...
…我从没对你有其他想法 ...I don't think of you in that way.
我们是朋友，你知道 We're friends, you know.
你是这里唯一几个 You're actually one of the few people here
我能顺利相处的人 that I feel comfortable around.
我也有同样的感觉 I feel the same way about you.
那好，听我的 Good. Then just take my advice.
和杜克拍拖一次 Go out with Duke.
我会考虑的 I'll consider it.
那到底是什么？ So, what is that exactly?
我想是脾脏 I think that's the spleen.
好了，谁是你的救世主？ OK, who's your daddy?
我让她考虑了 八字已有一撇 I got her to agree to consider you. You're halfway in.
好，好，我该不该约她？ All right, OK. So should I ask her out?
不行。你会吓坏他的 No. You don't want to freak her out.
你得先跟她聊聊天，知道吗？ You got to have a casual conversation first. Hello.
为什么我觉得你对女人没啥经验？ Why do I get the feeling you don't do this very often?
哥们儿，我只是 我真不会跟女生交谈 Man, I just... I'm not really good at talking to girls.
- 为什么？你很帅啊！ - 什么？ - Why? You're hot! - What?
你知道，你是个有魅力人… You know, you're an appealing guy...
男的…人…人男 Man... guy... guy-man.
听着，我不知道 我总是说… Look, I don't know. I just always say the wrong...
说不该说的话 I just always say the wrong thing.
那好吧。来，站起来 OK. All right. Come on. Let's get up.
我来练习一下 我来扮女生，你过来跟我说话 I want to try something. I'll act like a girl, and you're going to talk to me.
有必要？ Do I have to?
当然！因为我是维奥拉 Yes! Because I'm Viola.
- 杜克？很高兴见到你 - 这太吓人了 - Duke? Nice to meet you. - That was creepy.
你刚听上去就像个女的 You really just sounded like a girl just then.
我经常模仿我妹妹 I used to imitate my sister all the time.
这个我在行 来，站起来！ I got really good at it. Come on. And get up!
过来，问我些问题， Come on. Ask me some questions,
如果口气正确的话 就会有化学反应了 and if the chemistry's right, things'll just start flowing.
- 问什么问题？ - 随便什么，问我如果… - Questions about what? - Anything. Ask me if...
…我喜欢… ...I like...
…奶酪 ...cheese.
好吧。你喜欢奶酪吗？ OK. Do you like cheese?
怎么了，我喜欢的。 我最喜欢干酪 Why, yes I do. My favorite's Gouda.
- 我也喜欢干酪 - 看见没？ - I like Gouda too. - See?
- 看见什么？ - 对话很自然 - See what? - We're flowing.
可我们在聊奶酪 We're talking about cheese.
那又怎样？自然就是自然 So what? Flow is flow.
什么？那是什么？ What? What's that?
那是什么？他碰了我，他碰我！ What is that?! It touched me! It touched me!
是麦尔肯姆的狼蛛！抓住它！ It's Malcolm's tarantula! Get it!
- 你去抓！ - 你是男生！ - You get it! - You're the guy!
大男生！ The bigger guy.
对不起！ Sorry!
你再也不要用女声了！ You don't ever, ever do that girl voice again!
- 太恐怖了！ - 我的错 - Freaked me out! - My bad.
塞巴斯蒂安，我是你母亲 Sebastian, honey, this is your mother.
我打过来提醒你明天的嘉年华会 I'm ca//ing to remind you about the carniva/ tomorrow.
你和你妹妹保证会去的 明天见 You and your sister promised you'd both be there. Bye-bye.
糟了！我都忘了！ Crap! Forgot about that!
- 慢着，你妈也加入女青年联盟？ - 是啊，你怎么知道？ - Wait, your mom's in Junior League? - Yeah. How'd you know?
我妈也是。我也得去 So is mine. I gotta go too.
我现在没时间管这个 足球赛怎么办？ I can't deal with this right now. I have soccer to worry about.
不会那么糟 奥莉维亚会在那儿 Not gonna be that bad. Olivia's gonna be there.
正好能让我为拍拖打好基础 It's a perfect opportunity for me to lay some groundwork.
哦，奥莉维亚会在那儿 Oh, Olivia's gonna be there.
还有我妹妹 And my sister.
摩妮琪，和你 And Monique. And you.
还有我妈 And my mom.
万岁 Great.
盖帽 Dunk toss.
嘿，伙计 Hey, dude!
离我远点 I will cut you, man.
说实话，我从来不喜欢嘉年华 I'll tell you the truth. I never really liked carnivals.
嘿。我会在接吻亭 要过来啊 Hey. I'm working the kissing booth. Come see me.
我爱嘉年华，老弟 I love carnivals, man.
- 嘿，杜克，你去哪儿？ - 你觉得呢？ - Hey, Duke, where you going? - Where do you think I'm going?
- 怎么了？ - 哦，没什么 - What's up? - Oh, nothing.
那神经前女友 我不想碰上她 Just my psycho ex. I don't really wanna deal with her.
不介意的话 我要回避一下 So if you guys don't mind, I'm gonna lay low for a little while.
- 酷，等会儿见 - 好 - Cool. Catch you later. - OK.
上来吧！ Up you go!
我看见只猫咪… I see a kitten...
...使劲喘气 ...gasping for air.
抱歉，有急事 Sorry. Pretty urgent.
都归你了 It's all yours.
嗨，妈妈 Hi, Mom!
你看上去真像个淑女 真是奇迹 You look like such a lady. It's a miracle.
- 就是啊 - 那摩妮琪已经让你 - It really is. - So Monique's getting you
为这初次登场激动不已 all excited about being a debutante?
超级激动 玩得开心 Super-duper excited. Have a good carnival.
我的小可爱 你想去哪儿？ My little petunia. Where do you think you're going?
你要接下一班的接吻亭 You have the next shift at the kissing booth.
你哥在哪儿？ 棉花糖谁来做？ And your brother's late for the cotton candy can't.
我就失去找他的，拜 I'm gonna go look for him. Bye.
- 对不起 - 没关系 - Sorry. - Excuse you.
- 等，我认识你吗？ - 不认识 - Wait, do I know you? - No.
让一下 Excuse me.
维奥拉！嘿，嘿，嘿 Viola! Hey, hey, hey.
你去哪儿了？ 我不停打电话给你 Where you been? I've been calling and calling.
我很想你。我们得谈谈 I miss you. We need to talk.
谈过了，贾斯丁 没什么好说的了 We've talked, Justin. All the talking is done.
看，谁会为无聊的足球分手，好吗？ Look, no one breaks up over a stupid soccer issue, OK?
就不能冷静5秒钟吗？ Can you just be a girl for five seconds?
5秒钟？ For five seconds?
好了，首先 那不是什么无聊的足球， OK, first of all, it's not a stupid soccer issue,
其次你是个混蛋 哦，看那，时间到了！ and you're a jerk. Oh, look at that! Time's up!
对不起，抱歉，一个人 Excuse me. Sorry. One, please.
好好学习 Stay in school.
塞巴斯蒂安？塞巴斯蒂安！ Sebastian? Sebastian!
- 摩妮琪在我后面 - 你去哪儿？ - Monique's behind me. - Where are you going?
- 明白 - 塞巴斯蒂安！ - We're on it. - Sebastian!
对不起，超过8岁的不能玩海洋球 Excuse me. No one over 8 years old is allowed inside the Moon Bounce.
- 我刚看到我男友进去 - 应该是“前”男友 - I just saw my boyfriend go in there. - The correct term is "ex-boyfriend."
我说分手才算数，懂吗？ No relationship is over until I say it is. Understand?
但你还是不能玩海洋球 You're still not getting on that Moon Bounce.
好吧 Fine.
- 那是什么？ - 琪雅，别看 - What's that? - Kia, don't look.
该死！ God!
- 她走了 - 谢了 - She's gone. - Thank you.
- 扮得开心吗？ - 哦，是啊，真刺激 - So are we having fun? - Oh, yeah, definitely.
你觉得会怎么样？ What do you think it will be like?
杜克，看着我 Duke, you look at me.
我知道这将会变得非常非常特别 I know it's gonna be really, really special.
我说，她至今才亲了350个人 I mean, she's only kissed like 350 guys at this point.
我认为我们该纪念这一刻 I just think we need to acknowledge the moment.
4年后，杜克终于要完成他使命 After four years, Duke is finally gonna fulfill his destiny.
生活是美好的 生活是公平的，公正的 Life is good. Life is fair. Life is just.
嗨，救星来了 Hi, I'm your relief.
- 也是坎坷的… - 谢天谢地 - And yet... - Thank God.
我要窒息了 I can't catch a break.
当心那个嚼口香糖的老人 那不是口香糖 Beware of the old guy chewing gum. It's not gum.
- 我认识你吗？ - 不会啊 - Do I know you? - No.
我真倒霉 That's just my luck.
不，不，不，不 我不是那个意思 No. No, no, no. I mean, I didn't mean it like that.
只是，你知道 她…，你知道，不，好了 It's just, you know, she's, you know... No. OK.
我指，反过来想 你也，你知道…漂亮 I mean, on the other hand, you're, you know, also...
- 是吗？谢谢 - 是啊 - I am? Thanks, I guess. - Yeah.
你不必跟她调情。你付了钱的 You don't have to flirt with her first, genius. You're paying for it.
你为何就不…悠着点 Why don't you just... relax.
或许我该亲你了 Maybe I should kiss you now.
我给了那女孩票，拍了队 I gave that girl my ticket, and I waited in line.
那我也是我该做的 Well, it's the least I can do.
好了，来吧 OK. Here I go.
嗯，我觉得那票挺值的 OK, I think that was one ticket's won'th.
不，你还能再亲一会儿 No, you get a little bit more.
有没搞错 酒店就在街对面 Excuse me. The motel's across the street.
- 维奥拉，这算什么意思？！ - 排队伍后面去，浑小子 - Viola, what the hell is this?! - Back of the line, buttball.
干什么，杜飞丝 你敢碰我女朋友 Excuse me, doofus. You're making out with my girlfriend.
前女友 Ex-girlfriend.
哇，你是塞巴斯蒂安的妹妹？ Whoa, you're Sebastiars sister?
你快活不成了 And you're about to die.
难道要用你的眼泪淹死我？ Are you gonna drown me in your tears?
我没哭 那时眼睛里进东西了 I did not cry. I had something in my eye.
好了，伙计们 就不能克制点吗？ You know what, guys? Can we just dial it down?
各退一步，好吗？ And just step away, OK?
她说得对 我们球场见 She's right. I'll see you on the soccer field,
以足球定胜负 and we'll settle this all then.
好啊，杜克 OK, Duke.
或者我们现在就解决 Or we can straighten it out right here.
贾斯丁！住手！你们俩！ Justin! Stop it! Guys!
停下来！ 贾斯丁！ Stop it! Justin!
你们两个停手！ Guys! Stop it!
贾斯丁，下去！ Justin, get off!
我女儿在哪里？！ Where's my daughter?!
劳驾，对不起 Excuse me. I'm so sorry.
维奥拉！ 停下来！ 太不淑女了 Viola! Stop! This isn't ladylike.
这里不能使用暴力！ There is no room for violence here!
天啊，这是给可爱孩子们的嘉年华 This is a lovely childrers carnival, goddamn it!
你们两个！出去！现在！ Both of you, out! Now!
你今天去哪了？ 都没看到你 Where were you at today? You just disappeared.
碰到神经病前女友，只好跑了 Ran into my psycho ex. Had to bolt.
哦天啊！那不是...？ Oh, my God! Is that a...?
什么？是啊 What? Yeah.
希望你别介意 我借用你一个... I hope you don't mind. I kind of borrowed one of your...
另外你说的对，这东西挺好用的 Yeah. And you're right, by the way. These things actually work.
哦，天啊，你在流血，没事吧？ Oh, my God, you're bleeding. Are you OK?
我是说，象个男人一样！ 吸进去！ 擦点沙子！ I mean, suck it up! Be a man! Rub some dirt in it!
好吧，我会擦点沙子... OK, I'll rub some dirt on it.
到底发生什么事？ So, what happened?
我跟你妹妹的前男友打起来了 I got into it with your sister's ex.
等下，真的？为什么 Wait. Really? Why?
他看到我跟你妹妹在接吻亭深吻. He saw me and her kind of making out at the kissing booth.
等一下，你亲了她？ Wait. You kissed her?
是啊，兄弟，我希望那没关系 Yeah, man, I'm... I hope that's OK.
那是个慈善活动 It was for charity.
哦，不，我是说，兄弟，我是想说 Oh, no, I mean, dude, I mean,
你要是想亲她，你就上去亲她！ if you want to kiss her, you go right ahead and you kiss her!
我是说，别想太多 I mean, knock yourself out.
我是说，你就，你就抓住她然后亲她 I mean, you just... you take her and then kiss her
把她亲晕过去！ and kiss the crap out of her!
好吧 OK.
那么... So...
...你喜欢她？ ...do you like her?
我不知道，我们能不能不说这个？ I don't know. Can we not talk about this?
她是你妹妹，这有点怪 She's your sister. It's kind of weird.
好吧，好吧，不谈 No. Right. Right.
只是，你知道，我在想 Just... You know, I was just thinking that,
要是你喜欢她... if you liked her then...
...也许你应该约她出去. ...maybe you should ask her out.
我不知道了，让我不管奥莉维亚？ And just, I don't know, forget about Olivia?
我是说， 从一个完全客观的第三方观察者角度 Well, I mean, speaking as a completely objective
在完全没有个人兴趣的情况下 third-party outsider with absolutely no personal interest in the matter,
我不太确定你和奥莉维亚 I am not sure that you and Olivia
真的配得上一对 你明白么？我是说 really mesh well together. You know? I mean...
但是你和维奥拉... But you and Viola...
...我是说... ...I mean...
...会很配 ...be magic.
我不知道了 I don't know.
你真心怎么想的？ What does your heart tell you?
我是说，你最想看哪个光着身子？！ I mean, which one would you rather see naked?!
为什么你...？ 为什么？ 你为什么老是这个样子？ Why do you...? Why? Why do you always do that?
为什么你一说起女孩就总说到身体上？ Why do you always talk about girls in such graphic terms?
你知道么？你小子有点问题 You know what? You... you have issues.
原来你是这么感性？ You're a really sensitive guy, aren't you?
什么？不，不是，只是... What? No. No, it's just...
我不知道，我只是在想 I don't know. I just think that
男女朋友应该不只是身体上的关系 relationships should be more than just the physical stuff.
当然那也很重要 Don't get me wrong, that stuff's important,
但是如果我和谁在一起 but when I'm with someone,
我希望能跟她聊点话题 I want to be able to talk about other stuff.
比如，我不知道，严肃的话题 Like, I don't know, serious stuff.
一些我跟别的人都不能谈的话题 Stuff I can't talk about, you know, with anyone else.
是啊，比如…… Yeah, like...
...什么样的话题？ ...what kind of stuff?
我不知道，就是些话题 I don't know, just stuff.
比如，随便什么 Like, whatever stuff there is.
比如……好比现在？ Like... this kind of stuff?
是啊 Yeah.
我现在说的只是让你听听 But what I just told you is for your ears only.
如果你敢告诉别人，我踹死你 If you tell anyone, I'll kick your ass.
是是，不会的 Yeah. No.
我们是兄弟 I got your back, man.
放心吧 It's cool.
你妹妹怎么样最近？ How's your sister?
不错，怎么了？ Good. Why?
我不知道 I don't know.
我只是在想，我应该邀请她 I kind of was thinking I might ask if she wanted
来恺撒瑞欧吃晚饭 to grab dinner at Cesario's tonight.
你这么想？真的？我很愿意 You were? Really? I'd love to.
什么？ What?
我很愿意告诉你她的电话号码 I'd love to give her your phone number.
海斯丁斯！ Hastings!
是，教练？ Yeah, coach?
你现在是康沃尔比赛的首发队员 You're first string for the Cornwall game.
- 真的？ - 不是 - Really? - No.
我刚才在开玩笑，你这白痴 I was joking, you idiot.
兄弟，太棒了 Dude, that's awesome.
哥们... Dude.
- 那个，你要我来帮你么？ - 不 - So, you want me to spot you? - No.
- 他是不是很可爱？ - 杜克？ 是啊 - Isn't he cute? - Duke? Yeah.
不. 赛巴斯蒂安.他太酷了 No. Sebastian. He's so cool.
但是他说我不是他喜欢的型 But he said I'm not his type.
- 不可能，所有人都喜欢你 - 他不是 - Impossible. You're everyone's type. - Not his.
我可以告诉你这种情况下 我们这种纯粹的凡人要怎么做 I could tell you what us mere mortals would do in this situation.
- 什么？ - 让他吃醋 - What? - Make him jealous.
那你要怎么做？ 假装喜欢别人？ So, what do you do? You just pretend to like somebody else?
然后不知羞耻的利用他 And then use him shamelessly.
哇 Wow.
那个，你应该给维奥拉打个电话 So, you should call Viola up.
是啊，我想我会的 Yeah. I think I will.
嘿， 杜克. Hey, Duke.
- 赛巴斯蒂安. - 奥莉维亚. - Sebastian. - Olivia.
奥莉维亚. Olivia.
你今天抬举了多少磅？ What're you bench-pressing these days?
225. 让人印象深刻 225. Very impressive.
谢谢 Thanks.
那个， 杜克，你刚才不是要打电话么 So, Duke, about that call that you were gonna make.
- 你还打不打？ - 是啊，谢谢 - You gonna make that? - Yeah. Thank you.
这个225你能举多少次？ So how many reps can you do with that 225?
大概20...20个 Like 20... 20.
225比我重两倍还多 225 is more than twice what I weigh.
你能举我多少次？ How many reps could you do with me?
四十 Forty.
你好？ Hello?
嗨，我是维奥拉. Hi, it's Viola.
赛巴斯蒂安 告诉我打电话给你 Sebastian to/d me to ca// you.
- 我很愿意和你吃晚饭 - 好的，什么？ - I'd love to go to dinner. - Yeah. What?
我能不能一会打给你？ Can I call you back?
因为我要... Because I gotta...
...换一下我的脚 ...change my feet.
那么，你今天晚上有什么计划么？ So, do you have any plans tonight?
对不起 My bad.
我们刚才说的你今晚要做的事情怎么办？ What about the thing that we talked about that you were going to do later?
什么事情？我没事可做 What thing? I'm thingless.
太好了！那么我们约会吧 在恺撒瑞欧，八点 Great! Then it's a date. Cesario's, 8:00.
- 到时候见 - 好的 - I'll see you there. - OK.
- 再见 赛巴斯蒂安. - 再见 - Bye, Sebastian. - Later.
太好了 Yeah!
你做到了 You did it.
我要跟奥莉维亚约会了 I'm goir out with Olivia.
什么？！ 我以为你现在喜欢维奥拉！ What the hell?! I thought you liked Viola now!
兄弟，别这样，你也是个男人 Dude, come on. You're a guy.
要是你会怎么做，学校最火辣的女孩 What would you do if the hottest girl in the school
上前来约你？ came up to you and asked you on a date?
我马上就回来 I'll be right back.
奥莉维亚？ 嗨 我能不能跟你谈谈？ Olivia? Hi. Can I talk to you for a second?
呵？ 干什么？ Moi? Whatever for?
是关于你和杜克的约会 It's about your date with Duke.
我知道！ 我真高兴听了你的话 你是对的，他真好 I know! I am so glad I listened to you. You're right. He's awesome.
他穿起短裤也很性感 And he looked so good in those shorts.
他不只是一块肉， 奥莉维亚. He's not a piece of meat, Olivia.
他是个男人，有感情的男人 He's a man. A man with feelings.
我是个有感情的女人 And I'm a woman with feelings.
我的感情似乎跟他的很配 And my feelings seem to match his.
你猜怎么着？ You know what?
从一个完全客观的第三方观察者角度 Speaking as a completely objective third-party observer
在完全没有个人兴趣的情况下 with absolutely no personal interest in the matter,
我觉得你和杜克在一起并不是什么好主意 I'm not so sure that you and Duke are a good idea after all.
恩，谢谢你的关心 Well, thank you for your concern.
如果你真的那么担心，也许今晚你应该也来 And if you're so worried, maybe you should come to Cesario's tonight,
只是来观察我，我们可以再配一对 just to keep an eye on me. We could double.
我打赌 尤妮丝一定有空 I bet Eunice is available.
我绝对到，太不可思议了 I'm so there, it's insane.
那什么，你喜欢起司么？ So do you like... cheese?
- 嘿，你们俩，怎么样了？ - 你可来了... - Hey, you two, what's going on? - You're here...
...还有尤妮丝. ...with Eunice.
不介意我们坐下？ Mind if we join?
- 不，坐吧 - 不，不，不 - No. Sit down. - No, no, no.
翼龙小姐 Lady pterodactyl.
侍应！ Waiter!
救我 Help.
那个.. So...
...我刚才正在和杜克讲 ...I was just telling Duke how great it is
他是学校里真正的男人 to meet a real man at this school.
你说了？ You were?
那个，我正要说 Well, I was just about to.
有个男子汉在身边是多棒的事情，不是么尤妮丝？ Isn't it great to have a real man around, Eunice?
哦，当然 Oh, yes.
真正的男子汉好难找的 A real man is difficult to find.
好难 So difficult.
赛巴斯蒂安在约尤妮丝. 她肯定比我想的要火辣 Sebastiars with Eunice. She must be hotter than I thought.
为什么我一想约尤妮丝，你们就开我玩笑？ How come when I wanted to ask out Eunice everyone made fun?
赛巴斯蒂安一喜欢上她，她就突然变酷妹了？ Sebastian likes her, suddenly she's cool?
你们这群混蛋，我恨高中生活 Screw you guys. I hate high school.
尤妮丝！ 手挪开！ Eunice! Hands!
你知道么？ 今天过得很高兴 但是我必须要去... You know what? This has been real fun, but I have to go...
...刮脸 ...shave.
好 OK.
那个，过得很愉快，我们以后再见 Well, this has been lovely. Let's do it again sometime.
- 什么？ - 很快，再见 - What? - Soon. Bye.
那个... So...
...你喜欢起司么？ ...do you like cheese?
所有动物副产品中我的最爱 More than almost any other animal byproduct.
是啊，帐单！ Yeah, check please.
嘿，摩妮琪，这是，赛巴斯蒂安. Hey Monique, it's Sebastian.
我不知道维奥拉有没有告诉你我在伦敦 I don't know if Viola told you I'm in London,
但是我提前一天回来了 but I'm heading home a day early.
听着，我想了很久 Listen, I've been thinking,
我们需要谈谈 and we really need to talk.
女士们... Ladies...
女士们 Ladies.
大家好 Welcome.
我是谢丽尔·兰格丝特 斯特拉特福德少年联盟主席 My name is Cheryl Lancaster, president of the Stratford Junior League
以及今年新生社交季协调人 and coordinator of this year's debutante season.
哦，谢谢 Oh, please.
谢谢，今天我们将回顾总的指导方针 Thank you. Today we're gonna go over the guidelines
举办一场雍容优美的成人礼 for a graceful, ladylike entree into society.
狗娘... Son of a...
你好 Hello.
这里 Hello there.
- 嗨 - 确定她集体照的时候 - Hi. - Make sure she's in the back
站在后面 for the group photo.
感谢你能来参加，维奥拉. Thank you for joining us, Viola.
现在谁准备好了出来？ Now, who's ready to come out?
杀了我 Kill me.
维奥拉？ 亲爱的 Viola? Darling.
记住，好似你有个小秘密一样的咀嚼 Remember, chew like you have a secret.
对不起 Excuse me.
女士们 Ladies.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
嘿！你是上次在亲吻亭救了我的那个人？ Hey! You're the one that saved me in the kissing booth that one time?
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
哦，世界真小，我是维奥拉. Oh, what a small world. I'm Viola.
奥莉维亚. Olivia.
- 很高兴见到你 - 我也是 - Nice to meet you. - You too.
那个... So...
我知道这不管我的事情 I know it's none of my business,
但是你是不是在和那个杜克奥斯诺约会？ but you went out with that Duke Orsino guy, right?
是啊，就一次 Yeah. Once.
- 你有没有亲他？ - 没有，怎么了？ - Did you kiss him? - No, why?
哦，没什么，只是... Oh, no. It's nothing, but...
尽量能免就免 Just try to postpone it as long as possible.
他的唾液腺失调 He has this salivary gland condition.
是的，他不是太愿意提起来 Yeah. He doesn't really like to talk about it,
但是我当时感觉就要被溺死了 but it felt like I was drowning.
真的？ Really?
- 哦，我的天. - 我知道，那很令人讨厌 - Oh, my God. - I know. It was repulsive.
但是，嘿，祝你们俩能幸福 But, hey, every happiness to you both.
不，实际上，我不是真心喜欢杜克. No, actually, I don't really like Duke.
我只是对他的室友，赛巴斯蒂安，相当的着迷 I have this huge thing for his roommate, Sebastian.
我只是想让赛巴斯蒂安嫉妒 And I was just trying to make Sebastian jealous.
哦，天啊 Oh, boy.
是啊，我知道这么利用别人非常不对 Yeah, I know it's really wrong to use a person this way,
我也内心非常的愧疚 and I feel really terrible about it.
但是我真的非常，非常喜欢赛巴斯蒂安. But I really, really like Sebastian.
他特别的帅 He's so handsome,
不是象好多男孩那样傻帅傻帅的 not the goonish handsome you see in a lot of guys.
他是那么的精巧，好比是，幽雅的帅气，你明白么？ He's a delicate, like, even refined handsome, you know?
哦，当他微笑的时候，我不能控制自己不看他 Oh, and when he smiles, I just can't stop looking at him.
他太完美了 He's just so wonderful.
你知道么， 奥莉维亚... You know, Olivia...
- 是叫奥莉维亚，对吧？ - 是的 - It's Olivia, right? - Yeah.
我觉得我要给你些建议 I'm gonna give you just a little advice.
- 好的 - 做事不要太绝！ - OK. - Enough is enough!
你现在把自己越缠越乱 You are weaving a really tangled web.
好象一团乱麻 Like really, really tangled.
亲爱的……你不能再这样了！ And, honey... you got to stop!
好？ 你要告诉所有人事实真相 OK? So you just gotta tell everybody the truth.
要非常非常诚实 Be very, very honest.
用你自己的筹码去赢得胜利 Just let the chips fall where they may.
- 你说得太对了 - 我知道 - You're right. - I know.
下次我再见到赛巴斯蒂安 我会直接上前去的 The next time I see Sebastian I'll march right up to him.
- 你冲过去！ - 然后我会告诉他我怎么想 - You march! - And I'll tell him how I feel.
你告诉他 You tell him.
然后我会充满激情的吻他 Then I'll kiss him so passionately,
让哪怕恨他的人都有幸福感 that even the people he hates will feel pleasure.
你好啊，维奥拉. Hello, Viola.
哦，这可不妙 Oh, this is not good.
你也好啊，你个小婊子 And hello to you, you little homewrecker.
- 你是谁？ - 我是塞巴斯蒂安女朋友 - Who are you? - I am Sebastiars girlfriend.
前女朋友 Ex-girlfriend.
听着，所有人都别再这么说了 OK, everybody's got to stop saying that.
你就是那个前几天在批萨饼点被他抛弃的女人 You were the one he dumped in the pizza parlor the other day.
不，不，不，不，不， 他没甩了我 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He did not dump me.
我们只是最近有点不和而已 We're just going through a little bit of a rough patch.
我听说是他彻底的把你抛弃了 I heard he dumped you. He dumped you big.
被当成垃圾一样甩掉了 It was just like a big, huge dumping.
你疯了么？！ 你有没有问题？ Are you crazy?! Are you OK?
滚出去！ Get out!
你选错对象了！ You are messing with the wrong man!
下去！ 从我身上下去！ Get off me! Get off of me!
- 离她远点儿！ - 放开我！ - Get off of her! - Let go of me!
女士们！女士们，停手！ Ladies! Ladies, stop!
求你们了！ Please!
当第一次见面时对对方不满 他们用眼神来表达 When debutantes disagree they say it with their eyes.
那个，海斯丁斯. Well, Hastings.
为什么我总是在打斗中能看到你？ Why is it that I always find you in the middle of a tussle?
坏时机？ Bad timing?
我确信他在隐藏些什么 I am convinced he's hiding something.
胡说，麦尔肯姆. 他也许只是有些迷失和烦恼 Nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused,
但是深层次上他只是个美国热血小男孩 but deep down he's an all-American, red-blooded male.
- 就好象你一样 - 妈妈，我会自己选 - Just like yourself. - Mom, I will pick out
礼服的 而且我不会穿高跟鞋的 my own dress. And no, I will not wear heels.
因为高跟鞋是男人的发明 Because heels are a male invention
为了让女人屁股看起来更小而设计的 designed to make a womars butt look smaller.
还有那样她们就不能逃跑了 And to make it harder for them to run away.
麦尔肯姆，你有没有试过穿着高跟鞋逃跑？ Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
- 不，先生，我不会... - 可不是那么简单，不是那么简单 - No, sir, I wouldn't... - Not that easy. Not that easy.
别忘了你的吉他，海斯丁斯先生 Don't forget your guitar, Mr. Hastings.
就直接做，闭上眼睛亲他 Just do it. Just close your eyes and kiss him.
赛巴斯蒂安. Sebastian.
"醒来.我一直在等你睁开双眼 "Wake up. I've been waiting for you to open your eyes
我好告诉你我想我已准备好了 so I can tell you I think I'm ready.
我准备好了自由坠落入未知." I'm ready to free-fall into the unknown."
明天比赛的时候见 I'll see you at the game tomorrow.
我想我会很喜欢这学校的 I think I'm gonna like this school.
摩妮琪，这是赛巴斯蒂安. Monique, it's Sebastian.
我不知道是否维奥拉告诉你我在伦敦 I don't know if Vio/a to/d you I'm in London,
但是我提前一天回家了 but I'm heading home a day ear/y.
听着，我一直在想，我要跟你谈谈 Listen, I've been thinking. We rea//y need to ta/k.
伦敦？ London?
嘿，兄弟，丁克雷一直在找你 Hey, brother. Dinklage was looking for you, man.
哥们儿？嘿！ Dude. Hello!
你知道么，这真是疯了 You know, it's... crazy
你能多么误解一个人 how wrong you can be about a person.
太混蛋了 It's crazy.
你以为他们是一种人 You think they're one thing,
结果却是完全相反 and then they turn out to be the exact opposite.
- 你说什么呢？ - 你就打算坐在那里 - What are you talking about? - You're gonna sit there
假装你不知道我在说什么？ and act like you don't know what I'm talking about?
假装你不知道我说什么？ And act like you don't know what I'm talking about?
好吧， OK.
好吧，好 All right. OK.
我是想告诉你，杜克，但是... I wanted to tell you, Duke, but...
...你必须知道... ...you have to know...
...在这世界上我最爱的就是足球 ...I love soccer more than anything else in the world,
我可以证明这一点 and I had a point to prove.
什么？！ 你在跟我说你一直利用我 What?! So you're telling me that you used me
在帮你练习足球 to help you with soccer,
然后你转过脸在我背后捅我一刀？ and then you turn around and stab me in the back?
等一下，什么？ 现在我真不知道你在说什么 Wait, what? Now I really don't know what you're talking about.
别装了，我看见你跟她了 Save it, man. I saw you with her.
- 跟谁？！ - 谁？！ 奥莉维亚，你说谁！ - With who?! - Who?! Olivia, that's who!
- 你走出出租车的时候和她接吻了！ - 什么出租车？！ - You kissed when you got out the cab! - What cab?!
- 我们本来可以成为朋友的！ - 我们本来就是！ - We were supposed to be friends! - We are!
- 你根本就不明白！ - 奥莉维亚从来就没喜欢过你，知道么？！ - You don't know the meaning! - Olivia never liked you, OK?!
她不过是利用你来让我嫉妒 She was just using you to make me jealous.
但是维奥拉，她是真的喜欢你 But Viola, she's crazy about you,
自从第一次她和你接吻以后 since the first moment that you kissed her.
我打赌那时你计划的一部分， 支开我，你就可以得到奥莉维亚. I bet that's part of your plan. Distract me so you can move in to Olivia.
- 根本就不是这样的！ - 你跟你妹妹都离我远点！ - That is not what happened! - You and your sister have a good life!
"海斯丁斯家的双胞胎 不能长得更象对方了" "The Hastings twins couldn't be more opposite."
- 双胞胎？ - 赛巴斯蒂安？ - Twins? - Sebastian?
赛巴斯蒂安？ Sebastian?
赛巴斯蒂安，开门！ Sebastian, open up!
是我，摩妮琪！ 你有好多要跟我解释的 It's Monique! You have got a lot of explaining to do,
而且要一整晚老老实实的交代！ followed by a very long night of groveling!
他不在这里！ He's not here!
把他的电话拿走 贾斯丁不停的打来 Take his stupid cell phone. Justine calls every ten seconds.
这不是塞巴斯蒂安的电话 This isn't Sebastiars phone.
天啊！ 赛巴斯蒂安！ God! Sebastian!
- 赛巴斯蒂安！ - 有什么能帮你的么？ - Sebastian! - Can I help you?
- 你好？ - 维奥拉. 嘿，亲爱的 - Hello? - Vio/a. Hey, baby.
这是贾斯丁. 你知道，明天就是比赛了... It's Justin. You know, the big game is tomorrow and...
维奥拉. Viola.
允许我自我介绍 Allow me to introduce myself.
2003，2004，2005，2006，2007... 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007...
多好的夜晚... 2008. Nice night... 2008.
嘿，尤妮丝. Hey, Eunice.
对不起上次约会的时候我跑了 Sorry about running out on our date.
没关系，我会惊吓到某些人 That's OK. My intensity scares some people.
是啊 Yeah.
出了什么事儿？ Is something wrong?
被轰出房间了 Got thrown out of my room.
你是说，你需要个地方睡觉？ You mean... you need a place to sleep?
我确实需要，明天就要和康沃尔比赛了 I really do. The Cornwall game is tomorrow.
我以前从来没有过室友 I've never had a roommate before.
哇，维，你帮我把东西都收拾好了 Wow. Vi, you set up all my stuff.
谢谢 Thanks.
- 你确实肯定这个？ - 是的，先生，我们肯定 - You're absolutely certain about this? - Yes, sir, we are.
- 兄弟，你在干什么？！ - 赛巴斯蒂安，比赛马上就要开始了！ - Dude, what are you doing?! - Sebastian, the game's about to start!
爬起来到球场上去，兄弟 Get out of bed and get over to the soccer field, man!
足球比赛？ The soccer game?
原来那女孩子就是说这个 That's what that girl was talking about.
赛巴斯蒂安！ 你是下一个，快点 Sebastian! You're next. Hurry up.
你快过来，我帮你 Come over here, and I'll do you.
好的，女士们，听着 OK, ladies, listen up.
海斯丁斯在哪里？ Where's Hastings?
尤妮... Euni...
尤妮丝！ 为什么你不叫我起来？！ Eunice! Why didn't you wake me?!
你看起来好平静 You looked so serene.
我做了早餐，亲爱的 I made breakfast, darling.
原谅我，原谅我 Pardon me. Pardon me.
到底有什么紧急事件？ 我取消了我的壁球比赛来这里 What is the big emergency? I canceled my squash game for this.
我不知道，金校长只是说 I don't know. All that Principal Gold said
我们需要出席赛巴斯蒂安的足球比赛 was that we were needed at Sebastiars soccer game.
维奥拉前两个星期有跟你提过什么么？ Hasrt Viola said anything to you the past couple of weeks?
我怎么可能知道？ How should I know?
她不一直住在你那里 She's been living with you.
她有么？ Hasrt she?
- 对不起 - 太激动了，兄弟们 - Excuse me. - This is so exciting, guys.
女士们先生们，欢迎来到这里 Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
我们辖区最大的一场比赛正准备进行 The biggest rivalry in our district is afoot.
伊利里亚对抗康沃尔. Illyria versus Cornwall.
周围的气氛都为之疯狂！ It's gonna be something else, and the atmosphere is crazy!
下午好，先生们 Afternoon, gentlemen.
请握手 Handshake, please.
好的，你来叫 All right, your call.
正面 Heads.
就是正面 Heads it is.
我们就呆在这边 We'll stay as we are.
公平竞争，先生们 Good game, gentlemen.
你的下巴怎么样了？ How's your jaw?
好的，让我们准备好！ All right, let's get it on!
准备好，兄弟们 Way to go, boys.
听我说，我们可以做到，就是今天 Listen to me. We can do this. Today is the day
- 康沃尔打败伊利里亚. - 耶！ - Cornwall beats Illyria. - Yeah!
我没有太多要说的 I ain't got much to say to you.
- 谁会带来血和痛？！ - 黑与红！ - Who's gonna bring blood and pain?! - Black and red!
- 这不光是场比赛，这是场战争！ - 对！ - This ain't no game. This is a war! - Yeah!
谁会带来血和痛？！ Who's gonna bring that blood and pain?!
一，二，三！ 康沃尔！ One, two, three! Cornwall!
好的，兄弟们，现在！ All right, boys, here we go!
海斯丁斯！ 传球！ 传球！ 海斯丁斯！ Hastings! Pass it off! Pass it off! Hastings!
到底怎么回事？！ What in the hell is going on?!
真不错，白痴 Nice move, moron.
什么？ What?
这不可能 This can't be happening.
赛巴斯蒂安？ Sebastian?
去截球！ 去截球！ Get the ball! Get the ball!
起来，回去！ 去截球！ Get up, get back in there! Get the ball!
哦，天啊，这是我的比赛！ Oh, my God, this is my game!
我到底在做什么？这可没意思 What the hell am I doing? This isn't fun.
你看起来好象冰上的班比鹿！ You look like Bambi on ice, boy!
赛巴斯蒂安！ Sebastian!
我能不能要个中场休息？ 暂停？ 中场暂停？ Can I get a timeout, please? A pause? One brief halftime?
把表停掉，就是这样，停下记时器 Stopping the clock. That's it. Stop the clock.
怎么回事...？ What the...?
我不太了解技术用语 I don't know the technical lingo.
犰狳们，战斗犰狳，劳驾 Armadillos. Fighting Armadillos, please.
我需要大家凑近点. I need... Gather around.
我小时候也玩过橄榄球 还是象棋来着？ I played soccer as a young man. Was it chess?
- 校长，有什么问题么？ - 是的，非常不幸有点问题 - Is there a problem, principal? - Yes. Unfortunately there is.
但是我认为只有赛巴斯蒂安·海斯丁斯来告诉你们 But I think it's only right that Sebastian Hastings tell you himself.
赛巴斯蒂安？孩子？... Sebastian? Son? Or...
你有什么要说的么？ Do you have anything you'd like to say?
对不起，我球踢得不太好？ I'm sorry I'm not a very good soccer player.
我明白了 I see.
那好吧，请了解我下面要说的 Well then, please know that what I say,
让我非常之沉重 I say with a heavy heart.
女士们，先生们，尊敬的男同学们 Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed alumni,
以及赛巴斯蒂安·海斯丁斯的朋友和家人 friends and family of Sebastian Hastings,
我非常伤心地... I am grievously sad...
...告诉你们，赛巴斯蒂安·海斯丁斯 ...to inform you that Sebastian Hastings
是一个... 女孩子 is... a girl.
对不起，都是为了你好，你有一天会感谢我的 Sorry, it's for your own good. You'll thank me for it someday.
哦，是的，确实是 Oh, OK. Certainly. Yes.
对不起，我不是女孩 Excuse me. I'm not a girl.
少来，是的. Hello! Yes.
实际上，是的，他是个女孩子 In fact, yes, he is. He's a big girl.
她实际上是他的妹妹，维奥拉， He's actually specifically his own sister, Viola,
她已经假扮他很久了 who's been impersonating him for reasons which will become very clear
出于某些心理问题 after extensive psychoanalysis.
大家听着 Folks.
我保证，我是男的 I'm a boy. I promise.
- 证明 - 好吧 - Prove it. - OK.
天！我看见了 God! I saw it.
哇，鲍尔，干得好 Nice work, Paul. Wow.
这才是我儿子 That's my boy.
凯文，闭上你的眼睛 Kevin, close your eyes.
足球是世界上最受欢迎的游戏 Soccer is the world's favorite sport.
谢谢，谢谢 Thank you. Thank you.
没什么可看的，没恶意 Nothing to see here. No offense.
大家请等一下 Folks, please, hang on for one second.
你们互相先聊一下 Just talk amongst yourselves for a second.
麦尔肯姆！ Malcolm!
就现在的情况你有什么可解释的么？ Can you shed some light on the current situation?
先生，没有更多的解释了 Not any more than has already been shed, sir.
好的，女士们，听着 OK, lads, listen up now.
我们现在已经确定，这个孩子 Now that we've established this boy...
...是个男孩... ...is a boy...
...有没有可能我们开始比赛？ ...is it possible we can get back to our game?
是的，请，刚才只是我们乱幽默.. Yes. Enjoy. That was a skit we...
好的，是的 OK. Yes.
让我们继续，兄弟们，加油 Let's get to it, guys. Come on.
- 我知道，让我们继续 - 浪费时间 - I know, let's play. - Waste of time.
宝贝，宝贝，宝贝，宝贝 我真得好想念你 Baby. Baby, baby, baby. I have missed you so much.
哦，天啊，我们俩死定了 Oh, my God, we are both so dead.
我们完了，摩妮琪. 完了 We're over, Monique. Done.
天啊！又来一次！ God! Not again!
干得不错，海斯丁斯. Good work, Hastings.
板凳 Bench.
好样的！ Good one!
半场，先生们 Halftime, gentlemen.
赛巴斯蒂安！ Sebastian!
- 维？ - 是啊 - Vi? - Yes.
为什么你看起来象我？！ Why do you look like me?!
上两个星期我一直假装你 I pretended to be you the last two weeks
为了证明我可以在男子队里踢球 to prove I could play in the boys soccer team.
- 是的 - 好吧，好吧，酷 - Yes. - OK. OK, cool.
- 不对，等一下，什么？！ -我没时间解释！ - No, wait! What?! - I don't have time to explain!
为什么你穿着我的队服？ Why are you wearing my uniform?
我来这里找昨晚上亲我那女孩 I came to find the girl that kissed me last night.
- 谁亲了你？什么女孩？ - 你看，那个 - Who kissed you? What girl? - Check it out. That one.
奥莉维亚？ Olivia?
她爱上我了，她亲了我还朗诵了我的歌词 She was all over me. She kissed me and recited my own lyrics.
维，也许那就是我梦中的女孩 Vi, this may be the girl of my dreams.
杜克看到的就是那个 That's the kiss that Duke saw.
等一下，这些是真的？ Wait, are those real?
是啊，我长鬓角了 Yeah. I'm growing sideburns.
不！ 藏起来一直到比赛结束 No! Please stay hidden until the end of the game.
还有现在把衣服还给我！ And give me my uniform back right now!
我们现在开始下半场 We start the second half.
伊利里亚，零，康沃尔，零. 两颗大零蛋 Illyria, zero, Cornwall, zero. Nothing but a couple of goose eggs.
- 教练我准备好了 - 你刚才干什么来着？ - Coach, I'm ready to play. - Is that what you call it?
我见过穿着裙子的小女孩踢得都比你好 I've seen little girls in tutus kick the ball better.
我已经改了 I've changed.
求你了教练，给我一次机会 Come on, coach, give me one more chance.
好吧，去 All right. Go.
踢球，冲杀！ Kick. Kill!
耶！那是维奥拉！ Yeah! Now that's Viola!
你上半场赢不了我 You couldn't score on me in the first half.
亲爱的，你下半场也赢不了我！ 我是忍者！忍者守门员！ You ain't going to score on me this half, baby! I'm ninja! Ninja goalie!
加油！ Come on, guys!
杜克！ 杜克！ 我这里空了！ Duke! Duke! I'm open!
传球！ 杜克！ 嘿，这里 Give me the ball! Duke! Hey, over here!
我这里空了！ I'm open!
杜克！ 回来！回来！ Duke! Get back! Get back!
不！ No!
好的，就这样干，宝贝儿！ Yes, Dan-O, way to go, baby!
康沃尔以牙还牙 Cornwall's right back in it with a goal.
- 你有什么问题？！ 赛巴斯蒂安那里空着！ - 能为了什么丢一球？！ - What's the matter?! Sebastiars open! - Rather lose the goal?!
闭嘴，你 Shut up, man.
杜克，我知道你生我气 Duke, I know you're mad at me.
别跟我说话，离我远点！ Don't talk to me. Get out of my face!
我跟奥莉维亚没事发生！ 比赛结束我会向你解释的！ Nothing is going on with me and Olivia! When the game is over I'll explain!
现在你不用喜欢我，但是我是你队友？！ For right now, you don't have to like me, but I'm your teammate, OK?!
我想要打败他们！ 我必须打败他们！ I want to beat these guys! I have to beat these guys!
不知道有没有打搅你们 我们有场比赛要打 If we're not disturbing you, we have a soccer game to finish.
回你的网子里去 Get back in the net, man.
不回怎么样，你又要拿你的脸来碰我的拳头？ Or you'll hit my fist with your face again?
你想我这么干么？ 来啊！ Do you want to see me do it? Let's go!
杜克，别这样，停手 Duke, come on. Stop it.
- 别这样！ - 杜克，停手 - Come on! - Duke, stop it.
赛巴斯蒂安！ Sebastian!
杜克！ 停手！ Duke! Stop it!
停手！ Come on!
好！ OK!
停手！ 哦天啊！ Stop it! Oh, my God!
如果你们想打架， 离开运动场距离 If you want to roughhouse, take it at least 500 yards
- 至少500码 - 散开！ 散开！ - away from the stadium grounds. - Break it up! Break it up!
听着，小子们 OK, tough guys.
你们要是想拳击？从我的运动场滚出去 You want to box? You get out of my stadium.
否则就好好比赛 Otherwise, get on with the game.
听着，伊利里亚的犰狳们 Come on, now, Armadillos of Illyria.
其他人也是！ That goes for the rest of you!
去打一场真的比赛！ Now get on and play some real football!
- 别好象一群女人 - 好的 - Like a bunch of girls. - OK.
其他人，让我们象女人一样打场橄榄球 The rest of you, let's play some real football like a bunch of girls.
- 好不好？ - 你白痴！ - All right? - You suck!
那不是橄榄球，是足球，美国是这么叫的 It's not football, it's soccer. That's what we call it in the States.
- 赛巴斯蒂安！ 你没事吧？ - 不， 奥莉维亚，别现在 - Sebastian! Are you OK? - No, Olivia, Not now.
你还想告诉我说什么也没发生 Try to tell me again there's nothing going on.
什么都没有！ There is nothing going on!
- 那昨晚怎么回事？ - 我没对你撒谎，杜克. - What about last night? - I didn't lie to you, Duke.
我撒谎了，但不是这个 I did, but not about this.
真相是这样的 Here's the truth.
我爱你 I love you.
你再说一次？ I beg your pardon?
什么？好吧，你刚才说...？ 这可真有点奇怪了 What? All right... What're you...? That's just a little weird.
要吧，你知道么？ 我不能再隐瞒了 OK, you know what? I can't do this anymore.
大家，我有话要说 Everybody, I have something to tell you.
我不是赛巴斯蒂安. I'm not Sebastian.
我是维奥拉. I'm Viola.
等一下，你不是维奥拉. Wait. You're not Viola.
- 是的，我是 - 不，我认识维奥拉. - Yes, I am. - No, I know Viola.
- 我，我亲过维奥拉. - 你亲的是我 - I... I kissed Viola. - You kissed me.
你在说什么？ 我没亲过你 What are you talking about? I didn't kiss you.
康沃尔的女子队被取消了 The girls team at Cornwall got cut.
男子队又不让我参加 The guys wouldn't let me go out for their team.
所以我就一直假装是我哥哥 So I've been pretending to be my brother
上两周他正好去了伦敦... while he was in London for the past two weeks...
...所以我可以参加比赛好打败康沃尔. ...so I could make the team and beat Cornwall.
但是我哥哥提前回来了 But my brother came home early.
你看到的是他亲了奥莉维亚 也是他在踢上半场 And that's who you saw kissing Olivia and that's who played the first half.
你戴着假发不能说明你就是个女孩 Because you wear a wig doesn't prove you're a girl.
好吧 OK, then.
仁慈的主啊 Merciful Jesus.
耶！ Yeah!
- 维奥拉？！ - 只是我的幻觉 - Viola?! - Is it just me
还是这场比赛比平时要更露肉？ or this soccer game have more nudity than most?
好了，现在大家都明白了？ All right, so everybody understand?
- 是啊，我明白了 - 好的 - Yeah. I get it. - OK.
等一下，如果我亲了你哥哥，他现在在哪里？ Wait a minute. If I kissed your brother, where is he?
没准在去中国的路上. 他看起来很悠闲... Probably halfway to China. He showed his willis and doodleberries...
- 到了 - 嗨 - Present. - Hi.
什么...？ What the...?
这可吓着我了 OK, this is freaking me out.
女士们先生们，我虽然不愿意说 "我都告诉你们了“但是我只是... Ladies and gentlemen, I hate to say "I told you so," but I just...
明白么，杜克？ 我没出卖你 See, Duke? I didn't betray you.
对不起 I'm sorry.
这并不是我想要的 我没打算伤害你 This isn't how I wanted it to happen, and I didn't want to hurt you.
我只是想要证明自己足够棒 But I just wanted to prove that I was good enough.
我要的只是一个机会 All I'm asking for is a chance.
杜克？ Duke?
就好象教练在每次比赛前说的： It's just like what coach says before every game:
"不要惧怕伟大 "Be not afraid of greatness.
有些人生得伟大，有些人成就伟大 Some are born great. Some achieve greatness.
有些人则被伟大所信任" And some have greatness thrust upon them."
我想今天我们成就伟大的机会就是让你参加 I think the best chance for us to be great here today is to have you play.
- 太好了！ - 太好了！ - Yeah! - All right!
是啊！ 是啊！ 不！ Yeah! Yeah! No!
不可以！ No playing!
你必须被处罚 You have to forfeit.
联盟里不可以有女孩，看这手册 There's no girls in this league. Look in the manual.
什么手册？ What manual?
听着，你在伊利里亚. Listen, pal. You're in Illyria.
我们这里没有性别歧视 We don't discriminate based on gender.
好吧 All right.
这个会留淤青 That's gonna bruise.
好吧，你真的以为有个女孩在队里你们可以赢？ Fine. You really think you can beat us with a girl on your team?
这一定会很有意思 This should be fun.
滚 Go.
最后一句话由我来说，不是你，滚 I get to say the last word, not you. Go.
好的，听着... OK, team...
...去踢球！去搏杀！ - 好的！ ...let's go kick! Kill! - Yeah!
加油！加油！ Come on! Come on!
好吧，听众们，这实在是无聊 Well, folks, this is a real nail-biter.
下半时结尾仍然是平分 It's a tie score at the bottom of the second half.
加油！加油！打开！ Come on, come on! Open up!
什么？ What?
犯规？ 这不算犯规！ 他碰到球了！ Foul? That's not a foul! He got all ball!
这个罚球将决定胜局 And the penalty kick will decide the game.
你要往哪里踢？ 这里？ 我知道你要踢到那里 Where you gonna kick it? Right here? I know you're gonna kick it there.
我是不是在你脑子里？ 我是不是在你脑子里？ Am I in your head? Am I in your head?
你看这球门？ 在变小，而我在变大 You see the goal? It's getting smaller and I'm getting bigger.
来啊 Come on.
我爱你 I love you.
集中精神，别象个女孩一样 Concentrate. Don't kick like a girl.
男人更强. 你没可能的 Guys are better. It's not gonna happen.
你输定了！ 这是我的地盘！ You're a loser! This is my house!
你这可怜虫！我就在你脑子里 You're pathetic! I'm in your head.
哦也！ Yeah!
- 那是我女儿！ - 也是我的！ - That's my girl! - Mine too!
不公平！ 不公平r！ It's not fair! It's not fair!
不过是靠运气！ That was a lucky shot!
我再也不想见到你！你这烂人！ I never wanna see you again! You suck!
- 你做到了，维！ - 我们太棒了！ - You did it, Vi! - You were so awesome!
- 我为你感到骄傲 - 结束了 - I am so proud of you. - It's over.
你踢进了决胜点，说点什么 You scored the game-winning goal. Say something.
妈妈？ 爸爸？ Mom? Dad?
- 真是太好了 - 谢谢，爸爸 - That was really something. - Thanks, Dad.
- 你做了这些就为了踢球？ - 我告诉过你，对我很重要 - You did all this to play soccer? - I told you, it's important to me.
如果维奥拉在这里假装是你 If Viola was here pretending to be you,
- 你又在哪里？ - 哦，他在... - where were you? - Oh, he was...
我在伦敦演出 I was in London playing my music.
- 伦敦？ - 对我很重要 - London? - It was important to me.
- 你应该提前打电话... - 你怎么可以...？ - You should call before you... - How did you...?
妈妈，爸爸……嘿！ Mom, Dad... Hey!
为什么我们不一家去吃晚饭？ Why don't we go to dinner? As a family?
- 也许明天？ - 我想我可以安排 - Maybe tomorrow? - I suppose I could fit that in.
你要不要我的电话号码？ Would you like to have my cell phone number?
- 让我写给你我的E-MAIL - 好的 - Let me give you my e-mail. - All right.
耶！ Yay!
- 干得好. - 谢谢 - Good job. - Thank you.
哦，等！有个人要让你正式见一见 Oh, wait! There is somebody I want you to officially meet.
赛巴斯蒂安·海斯丁斯，奥莉维亚·雷诺克斯. Sebastian Hastings, Olivia Lennox.
- 真的很高兴见到你 - 我也是 - It's very nice to meet you. - You too.
我听说你喜欢我的歌词 So I heard you like my lyrics.
- 尤妮丝？ - 托比？ - Eunice? - Toby?
我有些事情要说 I have something to say.
我觉得你.. I think you are...
...太迷人了 ...amazing.
而且我不因此害羞 And I'm not ashamed of it.
我会变魔术 I know tricks.
哦， 尤妮丝. Oh, Eunice.
嘿，室友 Hey, roomie.
这是给你的 This is for you.
“斯特拉特福德少年联盟邀请你参加 "The Stratford Junior League invites you
第38届社交舞会” to the 38th Annual Debutante Ball."
- 他也许会来的，你知道么 - 你当时没看到他的表情 - He still could show, you know. - You didn't see his face.
我找到合适的礼服 I found the perfect dress.
谢谢，妈，但是我不觉得我有机会穿 Thanks, Mom, but I don't think I'm gonna get a chance to wear it.
不可能 Nonsense.
你穿好看的衣服不是为了给男人看 You don't need a man to wear a beautiful dress.
反正也没什么大碍 But it doesn't hurt.
维奥拉·海斯丁斯，能护送你是我今晚的荣幸 Viola Hastings, it would be my honor to escort you tonight.
谢谢，鲍尔. 真的感激你 Thanks, Paul. That's really sweet.
毛虫们！ 我珍贵的毛虫们 Caterpillars! My precious caterpillars.
再过二十分钟你们就会变成蝴蝶 In 20 minutes you'll all be beautiful butterflies.
- 毛虫！ - 蝴蝶！ - Caterpillars! - Butterflies!
你看起来真美 我……只是出来透透气 You look beautiful. I just... I gotta get some air.
我没想到你会来 I didn't think you'd show up.
你能来对我来说意义重大 It really means a lot to me that you're here.
- 说点什么 - 我要开洒水机了 - Say something. - I gotta turn the sprinklers on.
对不起 Sorry.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
那个，你为什么来？ So, what brings you here?
那个，几天前 Well, a few days ago,
我在亲吻亭亲了一个女孩 I kissed this girl at a kissing booth.
现在我看起来不能忘记她了 And now I just can't seem to stop thinking about it.
她也是那样 Neither can she.
另外，我想念我的同屋 Plus, I miss my roommate.
我真的很喜欢他 I really liked him.
好吧... Well...
...他就在这里 ...he's right in here.
听着，我知道我当初应该告诉你，但是... Listen, I know I should've told you who I was, but...
...我很害怕 ...I was afraid.
- 对不起 - 没什么 - Sorry. - Well,
你知道，也许如果我要知道你是女孩 you know, maybe if I'd have known you were a girl,
我们不会象以前那么谈天了 we wouldn't have talked like we did
也就不会那么了解对方 and got to know each other the same way.
那样会很可惜的 And that would have been a shame.
只是让你知道 Just so you know,
当我装做男孩的时候，你告诉我的事情... everything you told me when I was a guy just...
...让我象个姑娘一样喜欢你 ...made me like you so much more as a girl.
好的，但是从现在开始 OK, but just from here on in,
一切都会变得简单点 everything would just be a lot easier
如果你一直当个女人 if you stayed a girl.
我保证 I promise.
摩妮琪·瓦伦丁 由贾斯丁·雷德顿护送 Monique Valentine, escorted by Justin Drayton.
贾斯丁，你最棒！ Justin, you're the man!
奥莉维亚·雷诺克斯 由赛巴斯蒂安·海斯丁斯护送 Olivia Lennox, escorted by Sebastian Hastings.
维奥拉·海斯丁斯， 由鲍而 安东尼护送 Viola Hastings, escorted by Paul Antonio.
维奥拉·海斯丁斯. Viola Hastings.
太象她了，她在哪里？ This is typical. Well, where is she?
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